Our reputation doesn’t come from how we talk about ourselves. Our reputation comes from how others talk about us. - Simon Senek

I find this statement so true reflecting on an incident that happened some years ago during my undergraduate studies at the University.

After all, attempts to find solutions to the deadlock between the two lecturers and me proved unsuccessful, I was summoned before the school’s disciplinary committee for misconduct. I was assured that the penalty for the offence is either rustication or suspension.

As I appeared before the committee, members were stunned and expressed disbelief in my capacity to perpetuate the alleged misbehaviour.

“It can’t be you,” a committee member exclaimed.

“He’s not one of the bad guys”, another added.

Luckily, I was at one point in time lectured by all panel members hence, they could attest to my conduct based on our encounters in and out of the classroom. They, therefore, doubted my ability to misconduct myself in the manner as reported. It was contrary to how they perceived me.

With the inability of the accusers to present substantial evidence to back their claims, I was let off the hook. No rustication. No sack. Scot-free.

But for my reputation, a single event could have altered the trajectory of my life.

Let’s talk about reputation

“Reputation is the cornerstone of power. Through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once it slips, however, you are vulnerable and will be attacked on all sides. Make your reputation unassailable. Always be alert to potential attacks to thwart them before they happen” - Robert Greene (48 Laws of Power)

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines reputation as the overall quality or character as seen or judged by people in general. Our reputation is an abstract construction that controls how our audience perceives us.

In marketing, we say “perception is reality”. Deductively, it means you have a mental picture of something, and it defines how you see that thing in question, regardless of the truth. By extension, I can say that in the absence of credible evidence, you can get away with murder if you have a good reputation.

“Since we must live in a society and must depend on the opinion of others, there is nothing to be gained by neglecting your reputation. By not caring how you are perceived, you let others decide this for you, be the master of your fate and also of your reputation” - Oscar Wilde

In our personal, professional or social life, we are unconsciously leaving impressions on those we are interacting with - be it negative or positive. Being mindful of this allows us to take advantage by investing in positive actions that will influence the way people perceive us.

Whether you are seeking employment or conducting a business transaction, others are always going to decide your fate. What we must do then is to invest in building a solid reputation that will put you in a position to win on any day all things being equal.

The human resource manager will call the referees on your CV and read your Facebook posts, your customers will write reviews, and hotel guests and passengers will rate your services. Consequently, online reviews will influence the decisions of others who may want to deal with you because people trust online reviews as much as personal recommendations.

A good reputation will give you leverage. Leverage during arguments, debates, interviews and across many facets of our personal, professional, and social life.

Legacies are built; Reputation is earned

When it comes to earning a reputation, we are not that helpless. Reputation is earned through the quality of our work, attitude, values and how others talk about us. Though we cannot control how people talk about us, we can influence it to our advantage.

Earning a reputation comes in stages and the level of influence you exert varies at each stage.

Level 1 - Your actions and words - Source

At this level, you are the source of the reputation and you have absolute control. Determine what reputation you want to be known for and act in that manner. Through calculated control of how we display our character, we are able to court the desired image in the eyes of our public. This level is your best bet if you want to gain a favourable image.

For example, in the early days of my career, I resolved to be known as a serviceable, excellent, resourceful and skilled person in any space I find myself. I just wanted to be “the guy who gets things done”. Truly, I cannot label myself as the most punctual, obedient, astute, or disciplined among many other attributes desired in the workplace or other social settings but for what I set out to be I will not fall short on any day.

I built this reputation by equipping myself with relevant and in-demand skills in and outside my profession and making myself functional in any capacity I found myself in. I ended up being a linchpin. Now, if you want a highly skilled and resourceful communication specialist who can get things done there you have me.

That is my case and anybody else can earn a reputation for something else: honesty, cunning, respect, efficiency and any other you desire. You just have to pick on one or two qualities and put in the work required. Sooner, these qualities will set you apart and get people to talk about you. It will spread like wildfire and put people under your spell.

If you wish to be sluggish, simply loiter about in the office, make excuses and get nothing done. That is all you need to do to get that label.

Level 2 - Effects and recipients

The second stage has to do with how people perceive words and actions. Sometimes in our attempt to communicate something, we end up with an undesired effect on our audience. The same applies to reputation. For example, in our quest to be seen as obedient and hardworking, some people may refer to it as sycophancy or glory-seeking. Whiles trying to exude confidence, some people may come across you as arrogant or proud. Such is life.

Cultural and social contexts is a key determinants of how people interpret an action at a given time and space. People make judgments based on their own biases and, we must be on the lookout for how we present ourselves and our actions. We do not have much control at this level.

“In the social realm, appearances are the barometer of almost all our judgements and you must not be misled into believing otherwise. One false slip, an awkward or sudden change in your appearance can prove disastrous” - Robert Greene (48 Laws of Power)

Level 3 - Effect on third parties

What our direct contact tells those who have not been in touch with us - Third parties

Someone went to spend a holiday at a resort and had a bad experience with the services. He writes a bad review on Google to register his or her displeasure. Someone also reads the review and decides not to go to the said resort. At this level, you have no control and you are as good as dead.

Coincidentally, most of the things we know in our social life come through gossip and we tend to believe because we trust the source. This is why in the quest for power, political opponents will go to every length to ruin each other’s reputation to gain popular votes.

Way forward

Be conscious and deliberate of how you appear to people. You can control your actions and words to induce certain effects on your audience to your advantage. Be tactical and calculate your ways to achieve the results you desire. Like an artist, you have the brush and canvas; to paint the picture you wish for them to see but the interpretation may vary depending on the patrons.

Additionally, be consistent. Practice what you want to be known religiously till it becomes second nature. Are you only working hard when your boss is coming by? Do you act friendly to people when your parents are around? Are you still able to keep your composure when you don’t get what you want? Being consistent in speech and in action imprints it unconsciously in their minds. An unplanned act can ruin your reputation in life and in the same way one good move can keep you in high regard. People are more likely to write a bad review about a service they received than do the same for a good service.;

Be patient

Everything takes time so pay the price and you will reap the rewards thereof in the long run.

Final words

People have you under their microscopic lenses. They are listening to the things unsaid (body language and mannerisms), the way you dress, the tone of your voice and, they are forming impressions. Our reputation exists regardless of whether or not we acknowledge it. It is a social currency that can give you a competitive advantage in a highly competitive market. It is the most powerful leverage you can have in life.

Reputation, like a sandcastle, takes a lot of effort and tact to build but, a single wave can crush it. It even takes extra effort to rebuild it once it is lost.